We’re touching on an issue very close to my heart today, mainly because of all the real-world examples of it I used to see. Largely they related to fitness, but it fits all contexts.
I even made a YouTube video about it in my last ill-advised attempt at a personal brand (also touched on here), but that’s long-gone so here’s a written take on the same issue.
When my social content all related to fitness, I always used to hear people say “I wish I was motivated enough to do that”.
Honestly? Me too! I was I was always motivated, it would have saved me some mental battles over the years on cold mornings and late nights especially.
The fact is though, that’s not how any of this works. In fitness or otherwise. That’s not to say motivation is made-up or useless, but the people who are doing the difficult stuff don’t just have more discipline than the ones who don’t.
Defining the difference
Motivation is a feeling; a desire. Whether you’re romanticising the thing you want to do or picturing the end goal, it tends to start off brilliantly then tail off.
Discipline is what has to step in when the novelty wears off and that feeling is gone.
We’ve all been there; it’s a new year, or you read a great book or got inspired by your mates or one of a million other reasons.
This is it, this is the time you’re going to start a new morning routine, go for a run, eat better, whatever it is this time. You dive in headfirst-
First day- nailed it. Exactly how you pictured, if not better. Is this it? A new you?
A week in- still at it; it’s not as new and exciting but you’re sticking with it for the greater good.
Two weeks in- novelty thoroughly gone. Not so much fun. Then the first cold morning, or late night, or tasty free snack at work comes along.
Bang. Gone. Not doing it anymore. Life’s for living, right? Hopefully two weeks is my pessimistic guess, but it’ll vary and if you take up running in the new year it’s probably even generous.
The point is, the shiny new “look how good I’m being” feeling wears off very quickly and it’s replaced by the “this is hard and I don’t want to” feeling that all life’s most boring activities come with.
What now then? Do you read the inspiring book again, remember your friend’s story, watch a motivational video? Then just rinse and repeat? It sounds right-ish but not very sustainable.
The painful truth is there’s no avoiding the “this is hard and I don’t want to” feeling in the long-term. Working on yourself sucks sometimes.
Sustainable, permanent change lies on the other side of that feeling, and you’ve got to push past it.
It’s clichéd but you’ve got to get disciplined. That’s what makes your new routine stick.
That’s not to discredit motivation; I know I’ve just given it a hard time but it has its place.
Motivation is a fleeting feeling, it’s the infatuation with your new habit when you still romanticise it and ignore the little niggles. It’s the new stationery you bought at the start of a new school year, or the euphoria you get from the first few days of a tough new habit.
It’s like the honeymoon period of a new relationship, and it tails off in the same way.
Discipline is still loving your habit for its upsides, learning to still fancy it when it’s got no makeup on or it’s left a sink full of dishes or eaten your last slice of birthday cake because they couldn’t be bothered to cook.
That’s not to say you don’t dress up for the occasional date night and get back to the cute bits right? Fuck the dishes and spend the night flirting like you used to. You can still get motivated again but it’s never a forever feeling!
Discipline is a long game
Motivation gets you started; use the novelty of a shiny new thing to set good habits so you can keep going once you’re bored.
As your motivation tails off, you need to build up discipline in its place so your total effort can stay the same in a sustainable way:
In reality it won’t be nearly as smooth as this high-production-value picture makes out, but in the end you’ll be doing more through discipline than you ever could through motivation:
That’s the long-term sell; once you’ve got good habits, they’ll carry you further than a feel-good video ever could.
Easier said than done though, right? Here’s how you can make it a realistic prospect:
Discipline is like a muscle; treat it as such.
Let’s stick with the fitness metaphor here:
You wouldn’t try to run a whole marathon, or squat twice your body weight on the first day right? It would end badly.
That’s only half the picture, though. Even if you keep the weights low and run short distances, you still have to pace yourself in other ways.
Discipline works like a muscle; you need to train it up little and often then maintain it when it’s where you want it to be.
If you start exercising by going 6 days a week, or change up your diet by cutting out all carbs overnight, or start reading by dedicating an hour every day to it, it’s going to feel unsustainable fast.
The first time you have plans, or a busy day, or get invited to eat somewhere, you’re going to have absolutely no breathing space to stick your routine.
So you let it go for one day. You can pick the habit up again tomorrow. Your exhausting, relentless habit. On second thought, another day off can’t hurt right?
One takeaway after a busy day isn’t the end of the world, and by that logic neither is two in the same week. You’ve missed eating what you want and the thought of going back to your boring new diet brings tears to your eyes. Hunting out the healthy option every time is mind-numbing.
In most cases, it’s not a lack of consistency that hurts you in the beginning. It’s trying to be super-consistent from day one.
Unfortunately, forming habits is like pushing a snowball up a hill;
If you want to keep climbing you’ve got to dig your heels in, but the descent picks up speed on its own just fine. Not to mention the way it grows as it barrels back down.
You’ve got to start small and give yourself breathing space. The longer you hold the snowball in one place, the less you want to start pushing again- especially now you’ve got no momentum.
If you’ve never been one for exercise and now you’re going to change, that’s great. But don’t start off running 5 miles three mornings a week in the freezing cold.
Take a ten-minute walk every day. Maybe you work from home and it can replace your commute. Maybe it’s a way to get some fresh air on your lunch break or before you go back inside after commuting home.
It’s going to feel like nothing at first, and you’ll stay hungry for more because you know you aren’t flat out. That’s a good way to feel! Leave something left in the tank.
After a couple of weeks, you can walk a bit further. Eventually, you’ll need to jog if you want to cover more distance without it taking forever.
Your habit builds up slowly over time, and it doesn’t feel like such a huge change to your lifestyle so you won’t worry about picking it up after a day off because it’s not a big daunting task.
Make your motivation work for you
Even if your goals aren’t physical at all, you can still think this way:
- Learning a new language? Just take one lesson every day or two at first. Then see if you can sustain the habit daily, or maybe do two lessons every other day and go from there.Once you’ve got a little bit of progress, your motivation will be stoked and that spurs you on to go to the next level.
- Trying to read more? Read a handful of pages in the morning, and again at night. The first book might take forever but over time you’ll be putting the time aside to burn through a couple of chapters for the fun of it.
- Building a website and posting blogs regularly? Don’t push for an article a week at first. Just put aside 15 or 30 minutes a day to actively think about what you’re doing, and record those thoughts in writing.Like with the walking, you might have to pace yourself to not keep going but that’s how you keep things exciting.
That last one is aimed at me; I started this project all guns blazing and did really well at first, but in no time flat I was busy doing other things and just stopped putting the time aside for writing.
Rather than try to finish off an article straight away, I need to pick the habit back up at a more leisurely pace and go from there. You can do that same!
Remember; motivation is a fleeting feeling. That doesn’t mean you should ignore it though.
You can use that short-term boost to do some of the work early, demanding less from your discipline once it’s running the show.
If your new habit involves waking up early, lay out your clothes the night before and make sure your bag is packed if you need one.
If it’s diet-related, prepare what food you can in advance and plan your meals ahead of time so you don’t fall back to something easy and familiar when you’re not sure what to have.
Trying to turn into an avid reader? Keep your current book close to hand when you’re in the places you plan to do your reading; set alarms if it helps.
In a few lines then;
- Motivation is a short-term rush; it’s not sustainable to want it all the time
- Discipline is the long game and will take you further than motivation, but you have to start small!If your routine is gruelling, it’s that much more tempting to let a setback turn into “it was good while it lasted 🤷♂️”
- When you are motivated, use it to get the jump on your habit by putting in any sort of prep work which will make the day-to-day easier.
- It still won’t be perfect, but as long as your discipline keeps growing, your habit will get more consistent.
You can’t always “feel like it”, and wanting to be motivated all the time is unfortunately a fool’s errand.
But you can use the moments when you are motivated to buy yourself leeway for the times when you’re not.
It isn’t easy, but the stuff worth doing rarely is, right?
Joe Robinson: Bald Guy, Marketer, Self-Improver. 
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